Razors and Remembrance
by Cascaper
Summary: Moving all the ST poems onto one story, the better for reviewers' convenience. Each one the POV of a different character...although my favorite gets two.
1. Nellie

_Nellie_  
I was always jealous of her.  
She had him, just because she was  
Young, and perfect, and beautiful.  
So I wasn't as young at the time.  
I was still just as beautiful!  
What was so wonderful about her?  
That golden waterfall of hair? That ivory skin?  
That laugh which probably sounded to him like bells  
But which always sounded to me like glass breaking.

She didn't deserve him. The world never deserved him.  
And then it turned against him and her both.  
He was gone, and she was mad with grief. So was I.  
But not silly enough to do what she did.  
I just had bottle after bottle of gin nights,  
sighing,  
the tears locked so deep in sadness they couldn't come out.  
But her- always the dramatic type that one.  
Arsenic, and it drove her off the deep end.  
Well good riddance. I can't say I blamed her.

And then- could it be? He came back.  
He'd changed.  
But it was still him.  
And she was gone.  
_She was gone._  
My chance!

Or was it?  
Damn the hag, he was still stuck on her-  
On her memory anyway.  
Harping away on the man who'd destroyed her.  
Well, I agreed with him there- the bastard had to die.  
But to talk about it all the time-!

Still I had him, he was there, with me.  
And we shared nights,  
warm and sweet.  
But I was never enough.  
In the end he always went back to her in his head.  
I could see it in his eyes.

Well, I took what I could get.  
But oh, it hurt when he found out the truth.

-12/18/07


	2. London Fog

_London Fog_

Everything's different now.

The air is colder, the nights darker, the days dazing, now.

_Gold and blue and feathers and fur where is he where is he I don't know why am I here?_

No one pays attention, why should they pay attention?

"Just a half-crazed thing, poor dear," the ladies say,

Lifting their skirts, noses wrinkling in distaste as they pass by.

_Ben darling where are you why did they take you it's all right dear don't cry I've cried enough for both of us_

Still a person- am I a person? I don't know. No one seems to think so.

Only half here, half lost in a mist of- are they memories? Dreams?

"_Hush now hush come on eat something, get up, you're being daft- " NO I CAN'T I CAN'T _

Is that- who is that? There, on the dock?

He looks so familiar. Do I know him? His face calls to me.

_I CAN'T I TELL YOU I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LIVE WITHOUT HIM IT'S ALL OVER NOW _

Smoke, smoke, so much smoke.

Thick and black and choking-why don't they notice, why doesn't someone go find out

What's going on? Why doesn't anyone listen? There's something bad going on there-

_How could they do this he's innnocent innocent as a lamb or a bird or a ring, ring of gold, ring around the rosie…_

I've been here before. Haven't I?

I remember, my hands remember, all of me is crying out that I've been here before…

_I'm sorry sir, I can't come down Anna's crying and Ben's not here come back later if you want a shave_

Here he is again. He looks angry.

I've seen those eyes before. I know I have. Or do I know?

Something in his hand. Coming toward me.

I know a razor when I see one-but if I could only remember his face-

_Shh now Anna be a good little girl you're all I have left now- oh who's that in the street?_

_YOU! What can you want here, how dare you show your face, you and that awful-_

_What? Sorry- blaming himself is he well so he should- a party you say? _

_Ben wherever you are HELP ME HELPME DON'T LEAVE ME I need you I need you_

_Gold and silk and sequins and feathers where am I where am I why am I here?_

12/19/07

A/N: The italicized lines are Lucy's scrambled memories. I had originally typed them all run together, but that proved confusing when I tried it out on my friends at school. Anyway, r&r would you loves? Thanks. (I swear that wasn't meant to be facetious, Megfly...)


	3. Caged Birds

_Caged Birds _

I suppose you could call me a princess-

one trapped in a tower.

Miles of sky and roofs all round

just outside my window.

And inside, a palatial prison

where I am kept like a castle pet.

Infantile trifles, dolls and books,

litter the chests and fill the shelves.

And a bed that any other girl would die to dream in every night,

if it were any other girl's bed.

I have no dreams. Only nightmares.

I am told I was an orphan,

my mother a waif,

my father a scoundrel who never saw my infant face.

My nightmares are full of ghosts.

A woman who looks like me,

a man with eyes like mine.

They stand over me at either side of my bed, watching me.

The woman weeps and the man stares intensely.

They stay till dawn.

And when I wake I am as tired as if I had never slept.

I think these are my parents.

No waif and scoundrel.

But they can't let me go.

I cannot be released.

The lord of my castle would never allow it.

I can feel his eye through a hole in my wall. Somewhere on my wall.

I keep behind my hangings when I am dressing.

I shall never let him slander me with his eyes.

I see that boy down there in the street.

I think he sees me too.

He must, for he's gazing as though at a miracle made manifest.

He smiles back at me in return to my smile.

Does he mean to rescue me?

Doesn't he know my wings are as clipped as those of my pet lark?

I never felt love before.

Is it always so wobblingly there?

Turning my heart to a hammer

and my knees to a jelly?

There's a wild bird

in the cage of my chest.

Feel him battering his wings!

He practically beats them to shreds

when the boy's eyes meet mine.

We place a hand to our hearts, the boy and I,

calming the wild birds in their cages.

Push up the window. There! Catch, boy!

Take the key, and if you can,

take me too.

For I am yours.

-12/21/07


	4. Raggs

_Raggs_

I've never really had a good life.

A gutter waif,

scrounging for food,

sleeping in alleys.

I won't beg, nor I won't steal.

I knew Mum long enough

for 'er to teach me pride.

"Never stoop to begging nor thievery, boy.

No self-respecting Ragg will do that,"

she said,

"no child of mine neither."

Died when I was six.

Been on me own ever since.

Oh wot the 'ell, he looks like he won't miss a few quid.

Rich-lookin' bugger.

-Wot the 'eck? Hire me? Well…all right, why not?

Big mistake. "Signor Pirelli" my arse.

The man's Irish as they come.

Hides it well though- to them he's only a flamboyant Italian.

To me- bloody stuck-up thing! Kicks hard too.

I bet a real respec'able "king o' barbers" wouldn't kick his helper.

Dunno where he disappeared to. Hell, I hope.

Doesn't matter though- I've found me own angel.

"Auntie" Nellie Lovett- I wish she was me mum.

She's like that and more.

I finally have someone who…well, cares about me.

Someone who'd worry if I didn't come home-

oh, and a home comes with her.

A real home! With her.

I'd kill anyone who threatened her.

Anyone or anything.

I see the way she looks at that Mr. Todd livin' over the shop, though.

Like a wife would look at a husband she cared for.

I know she loves him.

Anyone can see it in 'er eyes.

Bet he could too- _if _he ever looked back at her.

That's a big "if."

Bloody man doesn't deserve to stand in her presence.

How anyone can all but ignore Nellie Lovett- the kindest lady I've ever known?

It baffles and confounds all me wits. Despise him.

She mustn't go near him- nearer than she can help, anyway.

He'll never hurt her while I'm around.

Oh…oh my God…I can't believe it.

It's not true, it's not! It isn't! It can't be!

An angel like Nellie couldn't do this.

But the proof is all around me.

Bloody pile of clothes. Hacked-up parts.

It's his work! He makes her do it!

His fault! His bloody fault!

I'll kill him!

Let me out! Let me out! Please!

MRS. LOVETT! LET ME OUT!

_I'll be next I'll be next if I don't hide, hide and seek, seek and find, find me a pie..._

-12/26/07


	5. The Unheard

_The Unheard_

Come closer my love  
I only want to hold you  
Closer, dear  
I'll chase away the ghosts  
Turn away from the broken mirror  
It only holds your sadness  
I'll calm your rage and sorrow  
_If only you'd hear me_  
_If only you'd see me_

I knew the day I met you  
I'd married the wrong man  
My soul cried out for yours  
The moment I saw your eyes  
If not for him  
If not for her  
We could have been together  
But fate brought us into each other's lives too late  
And laughed her hollow laugh

She brought you back after all these years  
This time we have a chance

Come closer my love  
I only want to hold you  
Closer, dear  
I'll chase away the ghosts  
Turn away from that faded portrait  
It only holds your pain  
I'll calm your rage and sorrow  
_If only you'd hear me_  
_If only you'd see me_

I'm right beside you  
I have your body but not your heart  
Can't you see the look in my eyes?  
Shining in the dark for you  
In the whisper of the past  
my voice is lost  
Can't you hear me calling your name,  
twining in your sweet soft hair?

_Come closer my love_  
_I only want to hold you_

_Closer, dear_  
_I'll chase away the ghosts_  
_Turn away from that bleak window_  
_It only holds your anger_  
_I'll calm your rage and sorrow_  
If only...

_Come closer my love_  
_I only want to hold you_  
_Closer, dear_  
_I'll chase away the ghosts_  
_Turn around and look at me_  
_I only hold love for you_  
IF ONLY YOU'D HEAR ME  
IF ONLY YOU'D SEE ME

-1/3/08


End file.
